Are you aware of your personal boundaries? We all need to put boundaries between ourselves and other people because we need a certain amount of space in order to think clearly and act properly.
If you don’t put up boundaries, people will use and abuse you and your kindness. You might even end up doing things that go against your will and your beliefs simply because you didn’t have boundaries in place. When this happens, you’ll lose your self-respect and your self-esteem will come crashing down.
Why Boundaries are Important
Boundaries are hugely important when building your self-discipline. It protects you and it helps dictate how you want to be treated. It keeps you real and honest with yourself and others.
It will help you exude confidence whenever you tell someone “no”. When you have boundaries, you only have to say “no” once because more often than not, the person doing the asking will believe you the first time you say it.
You may not believe it but rejecting people is part of life. No matter what we do, we can’t escape getting rejected by other people, and you will also do your fair share of rejecting others.
If you’ve always acquiesced to doing tasks you don’t particularly enjoy, but you’re too afraid of rejecting the person doing the asking, then you need to start practicing. Otherwise, it can get to an unhealthy point where you continue doing things that are counterproductive to the goals you’ve set for yourself.
Happy because she has personal boundaries 🙂
Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to reject people completely, but if you’d like to achieve your dreams and your goals within a specific time frame, then you’d need to start saying “no” to requests and tasks that do not align with your values and your goals and instead waste your time.
Saying “No” the Right Way
If you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, don’t be. Because you can’t control people’s emotions. You can, however, make sure you deliver your rejection in a humane manner. You can try explaining why you’re saying no to make them understand your situation.
Also, try using a gentle tone when you deliver the bad news especially if other people are within hearing distance. Rejecting and embarrassing people at the same time is a very rude thing to do so avoid delivering your rejection in such manner.
Honesty is Easiest
I have a friend who always makes up a little white lie to say “no”, instead of simply being honest. For example, her neighbor would ask her, every Friday night, to accompany her to her favorite club. My friend didn’t like the loudness of the music or the smoke-filled room, but instead of just saying so, she would say that she was sick, or had to go help her mother with something. She didn’t want to hurt her friend’s feeling by saying no. So she had to come up with a new excuse every week, and it was beginning to stress her out. How much easier it would have been to simply tell her friend that she didn’t really enjoy the club scene.
Another friend will simply say “this isn’t a good day”, when asked to do something that would interfere with her own plans.
Setting boundaries and learning to say “no” are important milestones for your self-discipline. If you really find it hard to say “no”, just keep in mind that the more you say “no” to others, the more you say “yes” to your own success.